Okay... It took me some time to complete this particular part of the story. Reason for that is that I wasn't necessarily able to write since I was emotionally overwhelmed by the experience I'm about to describe. Now that I see everything in perspective I can stop licking my "wounds" and continue working on my writings as emotionally exclusive as every other vacation junky. Don't skip the read, even if it emphasizes on love interest and future planning rather than cannabis smoking. In sum, it's all about lifestyle and decision-making related to cannabis smoking. So, read it; be informed and entertained...
Well, let's get started...meeting a sweet pot chic in my age up in Amsterdam 😊
As there was my last day in Amsterdam and only few hours left until my flight back to Vienna, there wasn't much space/time left for offensive plans. Thinking me back into the situation, I guess I should have tried to calm down and make the best of the situation--cuz the situation wasn't bad at all since I was sitting there in the GOA coffeeshop with great hash and a seemingly awesome person. I knew exactly what to do with my hash, of course. However, I wasn't quite sure what move of mine would work best to make the girls heart beat a little louder. When we sat to our table in the coffeeshop, she remained quite reserved. We didn't get an empty table and therefore had to sit opposite some pot kid with a cap. It appeared as if she wouldn't feel comfy then; she must have felt confined due to the crowd around her and the narrow space she had for herself to roll a joint. From all the impulses she conducted throughout the last three days, I would have thought that she would love to sit [so] close to me. The opposite was the case; she was one of these ladies who need a little zone of empty space around their waistes to feel free and unrestricted.
I myself wasn't responding smart at all but impatient instead and so, after asking her about her professions (she was astrologer, masseuse and yoga teacher), I would pick on her astrology thingy and question her beliefs loudly. That wouldn't turn her on, I creepingly (🐌) realized. She then suddenly picked up her phone and sank into it. Now, usually that's a red flag that makes me vanish, but in the moment it felt as if it was MY fault that she'd escape into her wonder screen. So I asked her about what she was reading on her phone and stuff, hoping to get her back into a conversation. But it wouldn't work; she was lost already. After a few minutes that kid from opposite the table left the shop. The girl then asked me kindly to change seats. After that and before I finished rolling my first joint [on the other end of the table], she stood up and blabbered something about a deadline for an application for traumasensitive massage or something (doesn't matter), then shook my hand and left forever. (Forever--cuz back home, when I texted her a few times... you guessed it: she 👻ed me.) And so another pot chic passed by on my seemingly endless search for a soulmate in a hell that whispers "You won't find her"...
In a nutshell: nice girl, sweet smile, soothing voice, but what I missed where deep conversations that would bring me any closer to her. On top of that, I didn't do her a single time (far far far from that). Briefly, nothing happened, so it's not supposed to hurt--but it kinda did 😢, and when I left for Vienna I felt heartbroken. I would spend the next days and weeks asking myself what went awry, but nothing would make sense. I fell into a slight depression and intended to dwell down there at least for a month. But the heartache would fortunately leave after about two weeks and after that time it made no longer sense to pity myself. However, the pain and the sadness I carried through the day brought about some fruitful ideas that, I think, are worth sharing...
Drawing conclusions
Now, that was not the most breathtaking story you've ever read, was it? That probably happens to you and your tinder dates all the time; right? Nothing peculiar at all. Hm..., it was kind of bitter for me, though 😔. Let me explain...
As you've certainly figured out already, I'm single most of the time I roam around in this world. It's less that I want to be single all the time; I simply cherish my freedoms and my independence as a single so much that I hardly ever feel eager to find a partner; I hardly ever feel the need to bond with someone else, probably cuz I don't know much about the comfort of a decent fulfilling relationship. I dunno... Some of my colleagues tell me that they need the security and that they choose to search for a partner when they endure too much loneliness. I scarcely ever feel this way; in fact, most of the time I enjoy my lonetime [of which I have plenty]... and a certain amount of it I need almost every day. However, I feel that strange void in my chest already.
Friends around me found families and therefore have far less time to nourish our friendship lately; and the profound communication I have with them is now rare and already insufficient. After all these years it suddenly makes sense to have a loving friend around, if necessary every day. So here I stand with a fresh desire for friendship and love, ready for a certain commitment that I wouldn't have contemplated years ago.
The reason why I told you about two of the few interesting encounters that I remember in recent months, is cuz these encounters made me realize what I'm after; and I assume almost every pothead in my country is coping with the same scarcity of pot chics and therefore might face difficulties when it comes to meeting potential, compatible lovers, friends, companions, soulmates; cuz, face it, if you prospect for your soulmate--a person who accompanies you for quite some time on the road--you want it to be someone who shares interests, someone who supports you in who you are and the things you love to do, so, of course, it has to be a pot chic; it has to be someone like you.
The hard thing in a typical Austrian setting is to eventually perceive pot chics as who they are...you know, there's no dresscode or something. Maybe they weigh less in average since they prefer their calorie-free drug to 🍰, chocolate and 🍔, I dunno. My point is, you don't know before you know,... and the trick is to make'em visible first. So, here is how you do it:
Instructions on how you first "approach" a pot-loving, kind-hearted pal that [therefore] turns out to be a potential soulmate [in mothafuckin Austria].
1. Just be yourself
Now, that sounds a little harsh, but what I meant to express was
2. Roll a joint right in front of her...
...cuz if she actually is the one (or as educated polygam dudes out there would put it: if she's good to fuck for quite some time) then she deserves to know in advance what she can expect from her love interest. But we aren't that far yet. First you have to
3. See how she's reacting...
...cuz if she's not completely frozen or asking "Willst du den etwa hier rauchen?", instead staying right where she is, willing to smoke that shit with you,... then she's at least open for your habits--and that's worth diamonds. But you know,.. when she leaves, that's pretty much it. Anyway, next
4. Light whatever crooked thing you just nervously created
--since you've practiced rolling a joint for spontaneous celebrative occasions several times-- you then
4. Light the joint and hand it to her
If she doesn't run away, continue with Advice #1 and you'll be fine, promised.
So, that's it, folks. Hope you liked this introducing post section and you took something with you until we meet again. In the next section, before neglecting the topic completely, I will mix up the cannabis topic with something different. Contact me if you want to participate in this blog project. I'm grateful for every tender soul who accompanies me on my journey. Feel free to leave a comment anyway.
Yours,
Kulla 👹
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